Children’s Movie Review: Toy Story

By SatanicPanic

Toy Story is a deeply cynical movie and you should feel bad about liking it.
Let’s start with Woody.  Woody is a world-weary, middle-aged Cowboy who spends his day watching over a toybox full of dumbasses.
Buzz Lightyear is a narcissistic astronaut with a wildly overinflated sense of self who believes he can do things that he obviously can’t and imagines all his gadgets actually work.  Buzz is both hero and comic relief.
Now those of you that are parents, stop for a minute and think.
Who do you know who is world-weary from spending their days watching people who can’t take care of themselves?  Any thoughts?
Now who do you know who believes they are the center of the universe, likes to pretend their toys actually work, and wants to be an astronaut?
You see where I’m going with this, right?  Woody is you, Buzz Lightyear is your child, and the whole movie, you are laughing at your own child and their dreams and their imagination.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

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