Kids Parties!

We’re nearing the end of children’s birthday party season- aka, the school year.  I’ve been to at least five or six, I can’t remember.  It’s rough guys.  Sometimes I don’t know where I get the strength from.  I just went to one today.  Here’s my thoughts on the different types:

Buy a cake, invite everyone to the park. 

This is just fine.  I’ve been to lots of these, but there’s a few things to keep in mind-

Only do this if the parents all know each other.  Otherwise it’s awkward.  And most people won’t just leave their kids at the park with strangers, so you’re stuck with a bunch of people you don’t know.

If the kids are under 5, they’ll get bored and start scratching each others’ faces off.

Buy a cake, invite everyone to the park + jumper.

The jumper will keep the kids busy for a half hour.  Eventually two kids will bash into each other headfirst and there will be tears.

Buy a cake, invite everyone to the park + guest entertainer.

Just make sure he or she is good.  If you go with a character from a movie, expect he or she will look nothing like that character and your kids will be confused and/or disappointed.

We’ve been inviting these guys.  They’ve done a great job the past two years.  Totally worth it.

Buy a cake, invite everyone to the park + beer

Yeah, this sounds like fun, and it is, for the first hour or so.  But then the kids get bored and the parents get irritable because they have to entertain kids and won’t feel like it.

Chuck E Cheese

I know this name causes most parents to shudder in horror, but other than the pizza, it’s not that bad.  For one, they tag your kid so they can’t leave, so parents are free to wander around and play skeeball (I am the skeeball master!) at their leisure.  Sure it’s noisy, the PIZZA SUCKS* and you’re probably being exposed to germs no human is immune to.  But the kids have fun.  For parents who don’t like to plan parties, it’s hard to beat.

Jumpy Warehouses

Basically the same as taking the kids to Chuck E Cheese, but kids bounce around instead of play video games.  And you can bring your own pizza so you don’t have to torture anyone.

Party at the house!

Kids will bring snacks into your child’s bedroom and eat them on their bed.  I’m generally not anal-retentive, but that’s a bridge too far for me.  Sadly, this happened to us.  Of all the things that could have happened, no one expected the weather in San Diego to cause us to have to move the party indoors.  But the kids had fun.

Party at the house + beer!

AKA Mom and Dad are gettin’ drunk!

I would never do anything so irresponsible.  I am insulted that you’d believe I would.

*I really can’t convey how bad their pizza is, but I will try- it tastes like it came in a can.  Literally, it tastes canny.  Metallic.  The cheese has the consistency of pencil erasers, and the bread is like stale crackers.  There is no worse pizza in the world.  Not at school cafeteria, not in your supermarket’s freezer section.  It SUCKS.


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