My son is sick this weekend so we’re re-watching Lord of the Rings.
- Can you imagine how much smoother the whole quest would have gone if they didn’t bring that dipshit Pippin along? Elrond gives this speech about how theirs is the most important quest in the history of the world, and then Merry and Pippin show up and say “we wanna go, we wanna go” and Elrond is like “ha ha ha sure little ones, why not?” At this point in the movies Pippin has already endangered Frodo twice.
- When they were forming the fellowship, they should have asked Legolas if he had any brothers.
- Boromir was a pretty dubious choice too. He’s like “let’s not get to hasty about chucking this thing in the volcano bros, we could use this thing on Mordor.” And then he’s like “yeah, I’ll join your quest and I’M TOTALLY NOT GONNA TRY TO TAKE THAT RING ONCE WE’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WILDERNESS.” Should seen that one coming Elrond.
- They should have cast Gary Oldman in the movie somewhere. Gary Oldman as Denethor? Oh yeah.
Speaking of Gary Oldman, we’ve also been watching some Harry Potter. The scene in Prisoner of Azkaban where Sirius Black shows up, Lupin is like “hey old buddy” and they zap Severus Snape (and Harry Ron and Hermione are looking at them like, what the hell?) is the best in the whole series. So well done.
One of the few complaints I have with Harry Potter is that the series inverts the master/apprentice relationship that works so well in Star Wars. The Emperor in Star Wars is on top because he’s a psychopath. He’ll do whatever he can to get power and everyone around him knows that. He has no conscience and is completely flexible in his methods. Darth Vader is his man until Luke comes along and then he’s like “kill Vader, this guy sucks since he fell into that lava”. Voldemort, on the other hand, isn’t even the scariest member of his own group- that would be Bellatrix LeStrange.
Voldemort is more powerful, and he does kill people pretty randomly, but he’s also got some pretty obvious vulnerabilities. I don’t get, for instance, why he has to kill Harry himself. I’d just get someone else to do it. Who cares?
I guess it’s cool that JK Rowling wanted Voldemort to be a bit more human, but humans need answers and when we’re given them, we’re less frightened. What is wrong with that guy, why is he so mean? is a lot scarier than he wants to be immortal, so he’s got to kill some people. At the end of the series I was cheering when Bellatrix finally dies, but with Voldemort dies I was thinking finally snake face can get some peace.