I can’t help but watching stupid Walking Dead.

I told myself I was done after season 2.  I hated that season with a passion.  Not just because I hate most of the characters, but because I can’t stand tv shows/movies that stay in one place for two long.  I’ll put up with it in a sitcom, but a ongoing drama should have a change of scenery.  Maybe it’s kind of peculiar, but it’s how I am.  I was really bored by Reservoir Dogs for this very reason.

So I started watching Season 3, mainly because I hoping for these people get bitten.   Before I started watching I read somewhere that Lori Grimes dies and she was my least favorite character on that stupid show.  I couldn’t resist watching for that. Thankfully the show obliged by killing her off quickly.  NOT THANKFULLY the show appears to be bringing her back as a ghost.  About the only good thing about the show is that it has shown a strong tendency to kill off characters in order of worst to best.  Sadly this doesn’t apply Rick Grimes.

I don’t really want to get into the various issues people have with race and gender on the show.  Those have been done to death.  What I do want to talk about is the fact that the show appears to be written by idiots.

I covered this a bit before, but zombie fiction doesn’t really work as horror, mainly because zombies are shitty monsters.  Yes, if you wake up in the middle of the zombie apocalypse and don’t know what’s going on, you’re in trouble.  But if you survive the first few weeks you’re pretty much going to live if you don’t do anything stupid, because zombies can’t adapt.  A monster that can be stopped by a sturdy fence is not a scary monster.  Shit, the Walking Dead regularly shows zombies being stopped by car windows. They’re just tapping on them like, let me in.

The problem is that the writers of Walking Dead have to keep zombies around but find ways to make them actually matter.  Because if the Zombies don’t matter then you have a really boring show.  But the initial danger where everyone is confused and hugely outnumbered, has passed.  So they take the 28 Weeks Later route- have characters do the stupidest possible things just to keep the story going.  Hey, wander around a dark prison basement instead of just barring the doors?  Why not?

There also appears to be no character arc for anyone.  Who is main character?  Rick Grimes is out of it half the time, so I guess it’s Laurie?  What is he or she learning?  Beyond not getting bitten, what are they trying to accomplish?  Do they have goals?  Why are they following Rick, when Rick clearly has made nothing but bad decisions?

Successful zombie fiction is either sociopolitical commentary or it’s about what happens to people when society falls apart.  The Walking Dead takes that route.  Which is fine.  Except that the show has nothing to say about this beyond the fact that if society breaks down people are likely to become monumental assholes.  INSIGHTFUL!

I just watched an episode of season three last night.  Rick Grimes, his kid and Michonne are driving down the road.  A man with a backpack on is running down the road, screaming and begging them to pick him up.  They have an empty seat in their fucking car.  They just keep driving.  At the end of the episode, he is dead.  The stop to pick up the backpack he dropped.  These people are evil.  Who are we even rooting for?

I’m rooting for injuries.  I’m hoping they all get eaten, starting with Rick.  Followed by that old annoying guy, that wimpy lady, the Governor, all the people in the governor’s town, Carl Grimes (yes, the kid, I said it, I want him to get bitten too), that other girl, then everyone else except Glenn, Maggie, Daryl and what the hell Merle, cause at least Merle is having a good time.

 

Update- DAMN IT THEY KILLED MERLE!  (sorry if you’re like me and still catching up on Season 3)

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2 comments

    1. You’ve got young kids so it’s probably hard. I went years without following things, but now that my son is older I get hooked on random TV shows on Netflix every now and then. Every once in a while they’re like Orange is the New Black, which was great

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